"Don't be afraid of your despair [and dark emotions]. Be gentle with yourself. Take your time with this journey. Let despair guide you to the self you need to birth, the meaning you need to make, the world you need to serve. Let it reward you with a resilient faith in life." - Miriam Greenspan Soul Birth Council Sundays: 9-11am, 12-2pm, 3-5pm There are no official names for what is being offered here. Some may want to call it counseling, others might liken it to spiritual healing work, perhaps bereavement care or midwifery of the soul. It doesn't really matter what it is called. What matters is that you find your way back to wholeness, integrating all that has been lost along the way, and finding the internal stamina, courage, and power to give birth to your True Self. Even the words 'True Self' feel false. Because how does one really describe that which is the Source of all that you are? How does one even know when you have touched it? And why call it anything at all, because really, it is an experience so intimate and personal to you, and you just know when you have experienced your True nature. It is a never ending journey, this life path we are all on, and we may think that we have arrived and then whamo, back you fall. Ebbing and flowing with all that comes your way. And sometimes, what has presented itself has become too much to bare anymore. Maybe you are feeling like:
If you relate to the above description, even a bit, then you might want to read further. The Story of how this started... Recently, I experienced one of the hardest seasons of my life. It began about 10 years ago and came to its peak, this past year. During which time, I went through a great amount of loss:
And this edge, was full of grief, chaos, pain, despair and break down. As I learned how to navigate this barrain terrain, I needed to keep up with mothering my three children and work a full time job for the first time in 11 years. The stress load was so intense, that all that I could do was surrender to it all and throw my hands up in the air and be brought to my knees. I tried going to a psychologist, and although it felt good to be heard and cry in front of a stranger, I didn't receive the kind of nurturing care I was looking for. And so, every night after my kids would be asleep, I would sit in my bath tub, grieve, wale, yell and pour my tears down the drain. Finally, I remembered how to be my own Midwife. Since, I wasn't able to find the kind of care I was looking for, I gave it to myself. Having experienced 3 labors and births naturally, the waves of grief that I was experiencing reminded me of labor. I kept asking, what am I giving birth to and is this ever going to end?The pain was so intense and I tell you, I wanted drugs to numb it. Of course, I wanted to escape it. And, I did at times, only prolonging the agony. Once the labor of grief started, once I was cracked open, there was no stopping the flow of tears and mourning. So, I choose to engage the labor fully with all of my attention and go into the birth. I Remembered about the flow of labor and what I believe about natural instinctive birth. I Remembered how to witness a birth and how to find my power to give birth. And I remembered, that I needed to get out of the way of the contractions and pain, surrender to it, and let it take its course... ride the waves so to speak. Fully trusting that this too will pass, even though each contraction of grief felt like eons of pain. And I knew, like labor, there is always space, breathing space, between the contractions. And there was space, lots of it. After a good hour of grieving and laboring with my pain, I would tenderly surrender (recalling that the fighting of the pain of labor makes it more painful) and in the surrendering, and total engagement of the flow, I would be flooded with a sense of relaxation and expansion - something I now call grace. This went on, ebbing and flowing, for an entire year (and I still have glimpses of it). I came to accept that the human soul labor takes its own course and time, just like physical labor, and no one can know how long that will be. Patience is necessary. And so, in midwifing myself through this soul journey of pain, heart ache, and grief I can honestly say that I think I gave birth to myself. And, since then, I have felt an overwhelming urge to want to share this with others who are suffering in their soul's journey. Really it is all about presence. Being present with the experience, having someone be present with you, and finding the courage to surrender to the flow of the force that is cracking you open. Can you relate to these statements?
We all have a story. We have all had a life full of experiences. Some of those experiences are amazing and some are hard as f@#! All of them have carved us into the person we are today. And yet, for some of us, we just can't seem to unplug from painful patterns, or depression or we have found ourselves at a crossroads in our life. Maybe, we have experienced great loss and we find ourselves in the depths of despair. We just can't seem to move forward and we are drowning in our pain? Or for some of us, maybe, we can't seem to let go and drop into our pain. Yet we know that in order to live a life more free and alive and authentic, we need to face those demons. Whatever your reason and story is, for wanting to experience a shift, you know that you are on the cusp of transformation and change. And maybe you are uncomfortable and scared of the intensity of the grief, pain, heart ache, despair etc. Maybe, for you, regular counseling was not enough? Maybe you are looking to just be held and heard without any hidden agenda, except to transform. Maybe you just want to be really understood and accepted for where you are right now? If you view this time in your life, as a time of transition and opportunity, and you are ready to jump in then you are well on your way to experiencing the alchemical process that is stirring within your Soul. Sometimes, along this path called life, we can get lost, exhausted, afraid and lose stamina (trust me, I have been there). You don't want to keep going, but you know you have to keep going and keep facing those dragons until you have gone through the eye of the needle. I believe that a loving 'midwifery' presence that:
This kind of care does not seek to intellectualize your experience and make up your mind for you, nor does it feed your wounds, but rather, because she deeply trusts the process of birth (whether physical or soul based) she can stand back and offer you loving care along the way. She never tries to give birth for you or take your power away, simply, allowing your own birth process to unfold as needed. This quality of care is not afraid of the pain and chaos of the dark emotions - grief, despair, anger, misery, and fear - but rather, encourages them to have a safe place to be expressed. And like birth, you the one giving birth to yourself, can become undone in the process knowing all will be okay because this is part of the labor and birth. This is the kind of care I am offering to you. If this speaks to you, than I would gracefully and humbly be honored to witness you birth into yourself. I am offering nurturing and heart centered care, that is present for your grief and life challenges. I have no idea how your journey will unfold, like any birth, it is a mystery. But I do know there are certain factors that can assist in allowing a 'birth' to unfold instinctively and physiologically.
I bring with me the skills, experience and knowledge that I have gathered over the years. I am not afraid of the chaos of transformation, neither shall you be, and I encourage you to become undone in the process... So what I am offering is a service that is:
A session might look like: Each sessions follows the pattern of a birth. First we prep the space, then we do the work of labour and then you get post partum care. For some of you this might be new language and perspective. I get that. And it could sound strange using labor and birth words to describe your souls journey. And yet, for me, it is the best way I know to speak about it :) One day you might feel overwhelmed with labor and emotional contractions and on another day, you feel calm and at peace. And that is all perfect. Whatever chooses to present itself during the time together is what needs to be shared. You cannot force a labor and birth, although we like to think we can, hence, we cannot force your labor either. If grief is not there during our session, not to worry. Maybe joy is! A session may include and the space may have: Depending on what your comfort and needs are, the space will take on its own unique flavor.
An emotional labour might look like:
Post-partum care might look like . . .
This service is my gift to you! If you are moved to donate I gratefully accept your gifts, whether they be monetary, artistic, energetic exchange or just presence... Thank you. Why I am doing this on a 'pay what you can' basis:
If you are moved to donate I gratefully accept your gifts, whether they be monetary, artistic, energetic exchange or just presence... Thank you. To book a Sunday session, just email Jennifer. |
"Despair's alchemy is this kind of transformation. There is a descent to a state of death in life. We look and feel dead, but something is happening under the skin-if we let it. The mask of the old self is dying-a harbinger of resurrection." -Miriam Greenspan  "It takes a lot of grieving To be open to receiving" - Kelly Bryson ... Open to what? What kind of receiving? Is this some kind of joke? We need to experience pain in order to receive? What if it was true, that the pain of our dark emotions and souls' labor, is in fact the catalyst needed for the alchemical process to occur? For the heart to break wide open? What if we no longer ran from pain? Nor saw it as either good or bad? What if, fearlessly facing the pain and expanding and encompassing it all, could offer you the healing that you are seeking? |
